God, please let me (a voice over)

 Shit.


I shouldn't have eaten durian together with the hot chocolate and ice cream. When they came with the sweets I should have realized what they were - just the appetizer. I am a good guest, so I ate it all. Including the spicy fried chicken, the beer, the veggies cooked with onion and garlic, the rotten tilapia, the coffee after. The licorice dessert. Thank god I escaped before they served the pudding.

*Stomach rumbling* *Fumbles with keys*

*Wave of nausea 1*

I am this close. I have to make it.

*drops keys*

*struggles some more to pick keys and unlock the door* *stumbles to doorway of pooper*

*Wave of nausea 2*

*Flings myself onto the toilet*

*5 seconds of shit hitting the fan*

"Aaaaaaaaaah"

That's... the first of the chicken coming out. I can taste it again. It's medium rare at best, too spongy... and spicy. Ooooooooh. Please, I'm too young. My sphincter is too young. If I survive this... I promise no more spicy *ooooooh* food.

*pause* *splutters* *shudders*

F-father? Hallowed be your name. *splat* Your kingdom *farts* come. Your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily *poot* bread. Forgive us our *empty* sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. Lead us *SHIT SOUNDS* n-n-not to temptation, but deliver us *splat* from evil. A-a-men.

*pause* *water and air sounds*

oooooooOOOh, The durian is coming with the beer.

Father... God.. I am bro-o-o-ken, but I feel you ne-a-ar, you're ri-i-ght there, you're co-o-oming right no-o-ohhhh-w. You are the o-one that s-AHs-tains me. I am weak and you are so, so, so stro-oooh-ng. You are BIG. OH, you're BI-IG and you're COMING. My soul f-f-faints, *help!*, but you're the breath of life within me. Breathe, breathe who-hoo-hoo-hoo (pregnant woman breaths). Rescue me *breathy please* from this dark cloud of despair because you delight *ahhhhhh* in me. 


*tapers off to just fart-y air*

Published on
5/2/19 5:51 PM

how's that for creative writing, suckers

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