Stand-up

 Give it up for Seann for hosting this mic! To Lorenzo for house managing! And to you guys for being here! But really, thank you guys for thinking - Hey I wanna watch comedy, let's fit L'wren's in on a Thursday night!


So a little bit about me... I'm Eugene, and last night I had this nightmare that I had diarrhoea on the 1 train. NICE TO MEET YOU TOO. Uh, it wasn't that I had lost bowel control or anything, it was more that I was pooping for validation, but everyone was ignoring me. My nightmare was basically being unable to escape reality even when dreaming. ha ha. Nice to meet you.

So my name's Eugene, and recently I found out that it means 'well born' in Greek. Which, boy. Is a LOT to live up to huh?! When I meet new people they're always going - Eugene huh? Were you named after the French Prince Eugen de Savoy? Or after the Russian writer Evgeni Onegin? My asian counterparts would say, are you named after Kim Yoo-Jin, the k-pop star in a girlband? Yah - my mom named me Eugene in the hopes that I would become either a general, a writer or a female pop star.
My American friends go a little easier on me. They're mostly like, oh.. Eugene like the city? In Oregon? Not much there to live up to. Being named after a city is different from being named after someone.
So.. Where am I in life now you ask? The other day I ran out of clothes, and so I dug into my pile of used underwear, flipped one inside out, and wore it out dancing. That's... how far I am from success right now.
Don't judge, you were single once.
Also now you know that I do laundry only when I run out of underwear. In fact, AFTER I run out, not before.

I forgot my Uber joke, so I shall save that for another set.

It's March huh guys? Anyone remember their new year's resolution? No? Had any resolutions? Well I wanted to learn boxing. Get back into shape, improve my comedic timing, and also I really hate my downstairs neighbors.

Cuz NYC apartments have such paper thin walls. Guys. I wake up and I hear my neighbor showering right above my head.
Link to 'Epic pee' blog if you want the juicy details.

THIS NIGHT IS IMMORTALIZED BAYBEH

Published on
3/22/19 5:50 AM

In case anyone wondered. Yes I did stand-up. No I sucked. Yes I really did write it all out. No it probably wasn't as good as I remembered. Yes I got free pizza

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