The Epic Pee

 I woke up at 3am ish, y'know, jetlagged and all, and ready to unload a mountain of pee that I was too tired to relieve the night before. So I dragged myself out of my loft and down to the bathroom. It started with a trickle, since my little brother hasn't fully woken up yet. The night was (almost) silent so I respected the night by peeing on the side of the trench, where the sound is the slightest. All of a sudden, a female coital 'Ahhh' came from the other side of the partition of my bathroom, where I was facing. The bed creaked, and my pee stream became more consistent - my wing wang was shocked awake. NYC apartments are funny things, I can hear people showering when I'm in bed, and now apparently there's a bed on the other side of my urinal. A second coital cum surprised 'aaahhh' came again along with a grunt. I couldn't stop now. My knib knob was fully awake and the full fury of my bladder was unleashed into the toilet trench. I now had a decision to make, where to pee. At that moment, I realized two other people were in close vicinity, listening to the sound of water on water. Go big or go home, so I aimed for the middle and made a performance out of it. I drew circles with the stream, went from side to side, teasing them with an 'almost done' pressure and then coming back for more. I had enough water in my bladder to fill a boeing 747 and I was taking none of it back to bed with me. I tested the health of my bing bong by shutting off the valve and then opening it in quick succession, resulting in a water trajectory a sprinkler would've been proud of. When I was finally done, I squeezed a few more drops out and flushed with a flourished. Three sighs of relief in unison. I shambled back to bed.


Published on
2/3/19 12:36 PM

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