Beautility of Intent

 It's terrifying to see two Asian kids grinning at you across the street, flossing their hips in tandem Maybe they know something I don't. So I crossed the street and sat down by the tree next to them for some brunch. The two kids seemed happy, mostly fooling around and playing with each other.  When all of a sudden, an older lady (mom?) came over and started yelling at the younger boy. He looked mortified, confused, and was guiltily trying to hang on to the sense of joy he still had earlier. And the older boy just went over to hug the older lady.  A hug was all it took. They conversed a little more, before the lady left. The older boy sat down, exhausted, while the younger boy played with his fingers. These Asian boys are on to something.

 It seized me from the inside and the outside my whole body trembling lines were added and then more between  this world and the next breath made no sense the air was within and without I was lost so it seized me and I allowed it I fell backwards  with a sigh eyes open or shut? something kissed me and emptied me  of my breath of everything the lines flooded in to form a ladder into infinity of which I was at the bottom gazing up yearning then a powerful presence on top suffocating, milking, birthing and then I was left wanting staring through the cages at children trapped in pipes The message was clear; not enough effort to unlock my childhood ~ I wanted another ~ It seized me again I didn't allow it Held my ground held my breath within and stared down the goblin it refused to budge neither did I My shaman was whispering good, good what did good mean did it matter? I am here and I fight for my breath until the goblin wavered his red eyes glinting shimmered and got su...

 Did you know? That you could favorite your favorite uber drivers so that the next time they're in the area, they can be notified specially to pick you up? Now I do. With my halting French, I asked the Algerian if the night was going well, and behold - she spoke back in halting English. Goodwill filled the car, stronger than the smell of clean leather. 'Do you like Paris?' I asked 'Yes!!' Unhesitatingly. 'It's beautiful!!'  I laughed Then hesitatingly: '..No?' 'Yes! I love it! But I barely got to see it, you know, with lockdown and all... You've been here for how long?' There was an inaudible sigh in there somewhere. '8 years.' 'Wow.' What a picturesque night. Empty of people, but Paris shone on nevertheless. Rafika had taken the path through Champs-Elysses, and before that, we'd passed by the Eiffel Tower too. Almost as though to prove her point. 'Before you know.. all of this, what would be your night outs li...

 Curious, a slow Tuesday afternoon with - suddenly - nothing to do. Do, what a word, as though the act of doing is linked to the act of being. As we so often say - I'm going to do laundry, and I'm going to do grocery shopping, to do up my online site, do this, do that. Instead of waking up and saying: Today, I'll be happy. Today is the day I'll be grateful, I'll be zen. And so? Perhaps today I shall do being, I shall do up a list of being grateful. Sunlight. I am grateful for you the Sun, in all your splendor and magnificence. An orb on high that shines and gives us the gift of rays of warmth, a dying star that emits such radiance that us at such a distance away still feel the licks of solar flares 8 minutes after they emerged. I'm grateful for the call of reality, of the presence it brings to the street, for the scrunch of our face when we face the sun that inevitably turns into a smile, because, perhaps a stranger mistook the scrunch for a smile and as we know...

 How do we render the invisible visible? Our provocations were many, they came in the form of: - myth and text from Jos - nightmare from Eric - hidden world from Anne - beauty and ugly from Jos

 How lucky - I get to revisit my childhood in the middle of my life. Monday With Jos, we discovered ease, economy and joy of movement as children. We do something we like, and when we're told to do something, we get bored of it. Soft bodies soft faces in the space, our bodies are bent, there is no vertical lines to look for, the only thing stretched is our stomach, the arch of the back. We roll, crawl, find the easiest way to get up, to pray and crouch supported by all fours, or all four points.  Improv with Jos was the Sandbox, a playground where 5 - 7 children of ages 2-7 would play. Children are always noisy, and we try to stay away from frustration and anger (unless we're trying to manipulate, in which it's part of le jeu). We have to be generous. Often the kids have their little worlds, and then the worlds merge, new things are invented, they pretend at marriage, they save the princess, sometimes they just move for the joy of moving. 

 In the second week of the second year of Jacques Lecoq, we did Pantomime: The unrequited love story between Pierrot and Columbina: Pierrot: You, such a beautiful woman. You and I, together, far away, we walk, where there is sun, there is sea. We swim. Shall we? Columbina: Swim. Swim? Swim?? No. You and me together? No. Pay attention. I love Jules. He's tall, strong, has a hat, a moustache, a car. I wait here, for him to take me to dance, dance dance. Capito? Pierrot: Oh misfortune. Oh woe! I think.. I have an idea! Look at the moon behind me. It is so full. I take it. Detach it from the sky, and give it to you.  Columbina: I don't want your moon. Pay attention. I love Jules and he gives me money that fills my purse (3x) With the money I buy a ring, I buy earrings, I buy a necklace with a diamond in the center. I will be beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! Understand?  Pierrot: I love you! I cry. Oh misfortune. Oh woe! I see a noose on a tree. I pick it up, I put it around m...

 Some quick notes. Because I love commedia. And because there is little literature on this beautiful art form. Monday: In the Grande Salle with Anne we began our exploration in different corners with the various characters. Capitano and the Sergeant. Capitano has a massive body and an even bigger voice. The sergeant, kind of like a dog, a little person in search of power. Next was Tartaglio, who stammers. Who had a drippy body, sad eyes, a mouth that cries, a body that shakes maybe, with his inability to express. There was then Doctore, who is an intellectual class, but who steals ideas and is a little pretentious. Tall body, a slow walk but a little unsure. Circular movements work with him. Then there was Bhrigella, a servant from the mountains, quite a Zanny, loyal but given to the drink. A heavy body used to the earth. Then of course, Pantalone, who is old, on the brink of death when discussing money, and also who is young when he speaks of love. All the characters are extremes ...

 Started with a bang! Or rather with a boom, all of us landing on the floor of the attic at the same time. The champagne is popped, and we're hugging and we're dancing. Then the good ole English got out the Union Jack and sang Auld Lang Syne. The neighbourhood must have heard us! Then the lights grew dimmer, bodies got heavier, the cake was kicking in, an unspoken fog descended on the apartment as the energy softened into the earth. All that was left was the drips of events left to pluck from the air. A commitment to the self... Awareness of one's descendency... The parade on the floor... the performance of 'Ridin' solo'. The music got duller and trancier, reminding us of our bodies. Until?  Can't sleep, won't sleep. This mind won't let me. This body wants to feel. Something other than discomfort. A few goodbyes for the road, and a promise to survey the situation of Paris 2021 as we transition into the pandemic full swing: I slipped out into street, ...

 We have music again! Monday With Francois in the grande salle we worked on our bodies. Lots of shoulder work, on the ground, elbows and knees counter-moving. We revisited falling down with a partner, and how we can further the line of movement.. and hold it. With Eric in improv, we listened to O Fortuna and were painters in our workshops. It then switched to writers in their study. Physicality and movement to music is good and all, but how do we put our emotions in? When do we bring the voice in? When we travel so much with the grandeur of the music, what happens? Suicide arrives. We also visited the exercise of 5 surgeons doing surgery to the music. Everything to the music! Surprisingly, the use of the mirror arrived in one of the improvisations. The writer writes all over herself.  No movement in LEM, since the year twos are preparing their soiree, but I've made two cubes. Hello companion cube. Hello loneliness. The cake was always a lie. Tuesday With Eric we continued the ...

 I love music.  Monday With Federick in movement we re-visited the Neutral mask. We squeeze through a tight space, then open up into a space with 'chair', 'bench', 'platform'. Ceci n'est pas une chaise. Also, don't forget to finish strong.  With Anne in improv we explored sound effects. A DJ, and an actor.  With Yasuyo in the afternoon we worked on the platform. How do we change from a party to the hermit downstairs? Then we worked on a family packing and going on vacation. Tuesday With Eric we did the rest of the Bateau movements. With Yasuyo in improv we created an ensemble doing abstract sounds for a place. Library, Cathedral, a port, the Artic. Can we use our voices to create a verticality? How about loneliness. In the afternoon we presented the valise of des enquetes. Wednesday With Anne we started practicing the 20 movements. Undulation, reverse undulation, skating. With Eric we listened to a piece of music and completed a recipe to it. The music w...

 Autocour this week is inspired by Theatre de l'echange libre as written by Fedo - 10 characters in a space that moves quickly. Gonna be real fun! Monday With Francois in movement we began with the normal chauffage of the body, and then entering into the body, movement and rhythm of our 2nd and 3rd personalities. Once we got comfortable with that, we got into the business of changing costumes. Then we set up a paravent, and did the thing where we walked in as one character and out with the other. Buttons are definitely not good. With Eric in improvisation, the theme was the CHASE - repeated many times through the day. First, we did it solo, and then in pairs. It became complicated with 4 characters in the space, but we began to see the time and countertempos that could exist in the space, and how to play spatially. Eric's note to me was to let loose and play more, which mirrored Yasuyo's note in the past week. So yeah, I need to play more. For some reason, play was not the ...

 Depaisement?  This week we discover the unseen side of our characters, and to stay there and be bigger. Monday: We start with rhythm with Frederick in the grande salle. Temps et contra-temps, et double-temps. Then we applied that to the character's walk, when do we change the rhythm? Perhaps in the discovery of a new space. Or perhaps after a reaction, we choose a different rhythm. We also attempt playing with someone on the street - how do we attempt to squeeze past each other, and game the tempo? A situation where we are buying vegetables could be fun to play too. With Eric, it was another entretien where we saw a few characters being provoked out of their comfort zone. Staying in our physical choice is super difficult when we're fish out of water. When we laugh because of a situation, how do we continue to laugh as the character, rather than the actor? In LEM, we re-found materials - carton, elastic band, and a huge plastic sheet. For warm up, we manipulated another person...

 The most frustrating week at Lecoq yet. My notes are also frustratingly incomplete. Monday: With Francois in movement, we played around with our character walk. Similar to the mask - Moving with our head forward, chest, hips, feet, finding different ways of leading our bodies.  With Anne in improv,  In LEM, we got together in threes and wrote out everything we thought 'The Elephant Vanishes' held. Obviously the work of this semester is absurdity and humanity and existence, so those are bigger themes - broken down into ideas like the invisible, the city, nature, colors, food, boucle sans fin, repetition, opposition, light, material - and then we chose a theme or opposition and moved it.  Tuesday: With Anne in movement, we explored our character walk, how we ran, and how they sit, and how they put on a vest. With Yasuyo in improv, we were grouped into whether our characters were rich, poor, had higher social class or lower, worked with the brain or with the body. Then...

 Paola was as happy as could be to see us back, and so were we, to see each other. We were termed - the year exceptionnelle. Attendance was taken, as we took the time to acknowledge everyone's presence, even the 5 who left us: Alexandra, Anna, Martin, Penelope, Titi.  Monday: Autocour this week is passion, with three literal levels of stages. I'm still unclear about the details, but we are to choose a situation, play 4 passions, and have them change and affect each other, perhaps one in major while others in minor, and we are to use the space in an abstract manner to convey the emotions. So our team started off by exploring how Jealousy, Love, Pride, Fear and Joy moved in the space.  With Frederick, we explored the two versions of Pride: Proud of, and Pride; and Vanity. There was minimal difference, but with more people in the space, we began to see the camaraderie that exists in being Proud of. There is an intention towards another, and a relation to another in the space...

 Pre-ambule Feathers floating, sparks, time is at a standstill. They are in motion, settling down into the half-formed egg on top of flames. The egg sets, shedding, until it opens its wings. Story It must be a discomforting position to be in. He turns and stretches one side, then the other side, as though attempting to expose more skin on the side, more lung surface area. His slumber is fitful, but as his breathing deepens and slows, he sinks into his bed; he looked almost comfortable.  It was time. 'Come.' The guide took him by the hand. 'But I just got comfortable!' He had spent so long trying to be comfortable, and finally he was. He wasn't quite sure he wanted to move anymore. 'You don't want to miss out on this.' She knew he had to journey, and what better way to convince a voyager that there was another voyage ahead?  Reluctant, he stepped away from the warmth, towards her. Her wings enfolded him into the darkness, and took through a tunnel. He was...

 People are disgusting When I meet people doing yoga with the sun on their faces, they usually have a smile for me. But when I meet people walking busily down the street, or in the market, all I get is a frown and they clutch their bags tighter. It is said that people are essentially good eggs. What kind of egg? Did it come from a chicken? Or a goose? Which came first? The chicken or the goose? Or me?  When I'm feeling a little more playful, I like to mess with someone's umbrella. Or someone's dress. Or you know, when they're carrying too many papers and it seems like the papers are unbalanced, and are juuuust screaming for a hand? I lend the hand.  Ha ha ha, don't be silly, I have no hands! Or legs! Or feet! Even if I did, I wouldn't know what to do with them! Or mouth! How am I speaking?!? I'm in your head! People are confusing. It's better to hang with the trees. They murmur a lot. Mostly secrets on how to live a long life. But it gets old. And I'...

 The periodicity frequency of a call on repeat has the ability tendency in lore to be scientific a signal from space a time to trace every 16 days the question we face are we alone? do we atone?  

 As a consequence of free speech, feelings of hostility between different racial and religious groups could be incited in Singapore. As a consequence of free speech, critics and activists will exist. As a consequence of free speech, dissidents will need to have lawsuits taken against them by the authorities. Article 14.1 grants Singaporean citizens the right to freedom of speech and expression. Article 14.2 states that only the Parliament holds to power to grant it. You have free speech, if the government allows it. As a consequence any free speech must be restricted to the 'Speaker's corner' and even then one must fill in a form and beg for that right. As a consequence of with-holding your vote in the General Election 2011, you will not be able to vote in future elections. We saw the consequence and we dealt with it before it came. You have to deal with the consequence. Published on 7/10/20 10:44 AM

Aftermath or Consequence In consequence In consequence of... In consequence of desire. 'I desire her.' What makes you so sure? 'I want her.' You've wanted others before 'I like her.' What is like? 'I love her...? That's.. not right.' Sustained 'I'll ask her out.' How will you do it 'I'll ask her out for dinner.' And then movies? 'And then movies.' Cliche 'You're cliche' How is this different? 'Dinner will be different' Why 'There is chemistry' That's just pheromones 'She does have a lot of hair' So you like girls with long hair 'Among other things' Among what else 'Round eyes, round face, round chest, round butt' So, hentai girls 'No! You're a pervert' I'm your imagination . . . She has round eyes, round face, and looks great in that green dress. She looks amazing.  She dressed up for you! Say something!  Great night out isn't it?  You nitw...

  Now that I'm not a competitive swimmer, the pool looks like an adventure. The pool was a regimented place. Rules and regulations. When the gun goes, we spend 3/4s of a second on the block reacting, another quarter of a second suspended, and then we hit the surface of the water and it begins. We glide til the momentum is lost, and we're at the deepest, and then we begin the dolphin kicks to regain the momentum and gather energy for the first launch to break water. Ideally this is between 10 to 15 meters - too close to 10 and we are not efficient, too close to 15 and we might have lost too much time gliding. This underwater phase is about 5 seconds long, and if all goes well it takes me another 10 butterfly strokes, that's 23 seconds, to hit the end of the lap. It is 200 meters, and I need to conserve my energy for the other 3 laps. After that, it's approximately 15, 18 and 20 butterfly strokes per lap, hopefully with the time of 35 seconds, 40 and 45 seconds.  Now... I...

 It starts with silence. Then 'Would you come dancing with - would you come dancing with - would you come dancing with.. would you come dance? Tripping over sun light, tripping over the ripples, you find the breath, you find the peace, you find the waves, desire to move and turn Hop and a skip, skotch in a botch, 321, 452, 639, sprawl on the ground with me and watch, right here, next to me, scoot a little Little butterfly, flitting, this way, and that way again, what current you ride on, a dream, a treat. The skies are clear. Clouds in cumulonimbus formation, stretching, turning, now a bunny, now crab, now a gaping hole. The Earth makes a full rotation every 23 hours 56 minutes and 4 seconds, called the sidereal period. It has a diameter of 7917.5 miles, which means it rotates at roughly 1000 miles per hour. It also moves around the sun at nearly 30 km/s, or 67,000 miles per hour. It's funny because I don't feel dizzy at such speeds. But I feel dizzy when I move. I want to ...

 Link to Medium: https://medium.com/inspired-writer/whats-it-like-to-be-sick-with-covid-19-632d10b16be4 It is day 59 from my first noticeable COVID symptom as I write this , and I am covered in the sheen of my own sweat in the heat of the Singapore afternoon. I’ve been awake since 5 A.M. as I can’t sleep more than 5 hours per night.  My lungs do not enjoy being squashed against the rest of my swollen organs, my heart palpitates at the slightest inkling of stress, or at unexpected sounds — my breath gets stuck — and the existential discomfort would have driven me nuts a long time ago if I hadn’t already come to terms with it.  You see, this is my new lease of life surviving COVID-19, and I am happy to simply… exist. When I first contracted the disease, I brushed off the dizziness just like I brushed off all my problems. Classic ostrich — I stick my neck far enough down in the ground and the problem will go away. I trust my body to take care of itself. And then France went ...